Getting Parents on the Team by Dr. Alan Goldberg of Competitive Advantage
PARENTS’ ROLE:
DON’T COACH - Leave coaching to coaches. This includes pre-race psyching,
motivation, after race critiquing, setting goals, enforcing additional cross training,
etc.
SUPPORT THE COACH - Your coaches are the experts. They need your
support for everyone to "win".
SUPPORT THE PROGRAM - Get involved. Volunteer. Help out at meets,
fundraisers, etc.
BE YOUR CHILD’S BEST FAN - Support your child unconditionally. Do not
withdraw love when your child performs poorly. Your child should not have to
perform to win your love.
SUPPORT AND ROOT FOR ALL SWIMMERS ON THE TEAM - Foster
teamwork. Your child's teammates are not the enemy. When they go faster than
your child, your child now has a wonderful opportunity to improve.
DO NOT BRIBE OR OFFER INCENTIVES - Your job is not to motivate. Leave
this to the coaching staff. Bribes will distract your child from proper race
concentration.
TAKE YOUR CONCERNS AND PROBLEMS DIRECTLY TO THE COACH - If
you have a problem with the coach, do not go to other parents to discuss it. Go
straight to the coach involved. Talking behind the coach’s back will not get you
what you want.
UNDERSTAND AND DISPLAY APPROPRIATE MEET BEHAVIOUR -
Remember your child's self-esteem and race performance is at stake. Be
supportive and cheer but always be appropriate.
MONITOR YOUR CHILD’S STRESS LEVEL AT HOME - Keep an eye on your
swimmer to make sure he is handling stress effectively from the various activities
in his life.
MONITOR EATING AND SLEEPING HABITS - Be sure your child is eating
the proper foods and getting adequate enough rest.
HELP YOUR CHILD KEEP HER PRIORITIES STRAIGHT - Help your child
maintain a focus on schoolwork, relationships and the other important things in
life besides swimming. Also’ if your child has made a commitment to swimming,
help her keep the priorities around this in mind.
"REALITY TEST” FOR YOUR CHILD - If a swimmer comes out of the pool
with a personal best time and a last place finish, help him understand that this is
a "win". Help him keep things in their proper perspective including losses,
disappointments and failures.
KEEP SWIMMING IN PERSPECTIVE – Swimming should not be larger than
life for you. If your child's performances elicit strong emotions, keep these away
from him. Remember your relationship will continue with your children long after
their swimming days are over. Keep your goals and needs out of the pool.
BE AN APPROPRIATE LIASION TO THE COACH - Keep the coach
informed as to how your child is responding to the experience (when
appropriate). If your child is having trouble with something that happened in the
pool or with something the coach said, help the child deal with it and if
necessary, speak directly with the coach.
